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Thoughts on Afghan Situation

https://anchor.fm/beemill/embed/episodes/Thoughts-on-Afghanistan-Issues-e161ti4

Alright guys. I ended up strictly recording my thoughts on this whole situation because I didn’t know how to just put the words down here. There is so much to consider and question. I will link the audio recording here in this post, and maybe (perhaps) I’ll get to the recording of the previous postings. As I type I have more thoughts but I’ll just let them settle for now.

Changes in progress here at the Mill.. but mentally dealing with the fall out of the Afghan situation.

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A new Quest

That sounds kind of funny, but it is pretty on par with the range of my interests.

Anyway, what it means is tha in addition to everything else going on here at the Mill, I have made another commitment.

The difference in this one is that it isn’t prompted by procrastination. One of the young ladies in my life (along with her siblings) started school this week. Even though she is the oldest, she was having the most trouble with nerves. Its a new year, with new teachers, new classmates, new set up on the schedule. The very idea of the unknown, and she found out that her best friend wasn’t going to that school this year. She was feeling a bit meh in these last few weeks bout the idea of going back to school. Sunday was just anxiety.

And this is where the life lessons come from people. She is right to be a little bit anxious. It is a normal reaction to the unknown, and very much in line with some traits of her mostly introverted personality. But, while we were doing our last pool day of the Summer, we had a good chat about how she successfully went to overnight camp for the first time this summer. She made new friends and got to get closer to her old ones. She realized that she could take care of her own daily needs. (Granted- she did have a really bad case of homesickness for a bit but that wasn’t the bit to focus on in this particular conversation).

But, “Issa, what does that have to do with your photo?!”

To kind of help her along I told her I’d do something that was completely new for me and start on the same day she started school. She said it can’t be easy (darn).

So, I started a certification on Beginning Korean/Level 1.

And, guys, it has been a long time since I’ve had homework, or quizzes, or tests! I spent yesterday just kinda getting the feel of things. Went through some of the first weeks lessons.

It wasn’t too bad. I know a bit in a really casual kind of way. My dad was in Korea several times during my childhood. My Husband was posted there for 8 years total in his military career. He’s there now with is first work outside of the military. This is another reason why I thought formally learning hangul would be beneficial. Whenever these quarantine and travel restrictions ease up, I do plan on making several regular trips to South Korea. I believe I mentioned before that as late as mid-October 2020, I was planning an international move to Korea. Things fell through– the Hubbs went and I bought The Bee Mill. I do love my Korean Variety Shows (Guys. I kid you not. I LOVE them. I am a bit behind now because my top favorite shows lost my favorite members– so I’m mourning LOL). Also dramas, historical romances, comedies. I’ve picked up quite a bit from just watching, but I would like to understand more. Not to mention, I love history and when I go to the Country, I’d like to be able to read it for myself.

Anyway, when faced with an international move, I figured I could learn as I go in country–a’la immersion. Now, I have to face this down for a young lady who is facing her own new experience. She’s going to check on me tomorrow–so I’d better have something done!

Oh, and I will be reading this post and the previous either later today or tomorrow.

I know. Y’all can’t wait, right!?

Let’s try another comments question: Anything anyone doing or planning to do this month that is new and a little bit frightening?

Issa LorenLeave a comment

An add to the Bee Mill

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve added an audio component to the previous posts! I thought it’d be a good idea in case some wanted to just listen rather than read. I do apologize on the way my voice sounds. It’s weird but I can’t change it.

I did not know when I started that it would create it’s own podcast. That was– Kinda weird for me to consider, but then I got a little bit excited about the possibility. The purpose of me starting this was primarily to write–so I will continue to do that first and then record the audio of the writing.

Word of warning: I may or may not add some comments to the audio because I won’t be recording the same time as writing I don’t think… (well, maybe I should). Anyway, there is a big possibility of some addition, but not enough to completely take it off the rails of the posting.

If I do add a substantial bit, then I’ll make sure to update the post to reflect that.

Anyway, along the same lines– I got my Grandma’s bedframe from Overstock. I should point out that this is my first time ordering from them so I wasn’t too sure what to expect. I asked my brother to come by and help me move mattresses since he protested forcefully that I did the back room all by myself. His exact words were, “You live here now. You don’t have to do these things by yourself anyway.”

Ha!

I called this man to ask if he’d drop by just to move the mattresses and he says he can’t. That he has plans he cannot get out of. Okay. It’s a Friday. It could be a myriad of things.

As I am bustin my butt pulling everything out of the room, I take a break to check out the Insta.

And wouldn’t ya know?! There’s my brother. At Epcot. With a mutual friend of ours. Havin the time of his life!

Don’t misunderstand my issue here. It isn’t that he went or that he wouldn’t cancel to help me get a space ready for OUR grandmother. No. That’s cool. If could go to Epcot I’d probably go too. My issue is his not just coming out and saying, “Oh I have a trip planned for Epcot.”

Enough of the rant, back to the bedframe. So I get the mattresses mostly out of the way (BTW: No one can use either of those bedrooms or the guest bathroom at the moment). Start laying out the pieces to make sure everything is there. Looks like we’re all good. Letters match letters. None appear to be missing. I put together the bolts and washers to get the headboard attached to the posts… and something isn’t right. One side goes in–the other doesn’t. I take a closer look and the problem is fairly obvious:

I have two right side posts and zero left side posts. I go onto Overstock to see what to do and see there is a place to request missing parts. Alright. Seems pretty straight forward. Only, it isn’t. UGHH.

I go through and enter the order number and the product. Then come the fields where it asks for the part number. I look on the assembly sheet and there are no part numbers for the inventory, only quantity of what I’m supposed to have with a photo.

So I get onto the chat. And I wait. Finally someone answers me, asked the relevant information to find the order. Pretty much it seems like she is just working with the same form I was. Now, when you enter the chat they asked you to describe your problem so they can know moving forward. Is that just for looks, cause this person sure as all get out didn’t know what was going on. Anyway, this is why I am on the chat and not on the phone. I knew I was already irritated. I can be very sarcastic and that is more blunted with typing than speaking. And now you know.

Back to it. So I tell her the problem, and wait for a reply. And wait.

And wait.

Then I get a message from her saying “I can wait, but can you reply so the chat window doesn’t close out”

UHHH… what?!

I answered her questions. It’s right there in the text box. No screen needs to be left or separate window opened to reviews the last three messages. Her last message was “Thank you for your answers”.

Nothing else.

Ugh… why is it the small things that grate on the nerves? The result ended up being that she put in a message to the parts replacement people and that I should hear from them in 1-2 business days AFTER they get her message and it could be more than a week after that that they ship out the part. In the meantime- I have a mess at the Mill with half the house being unusable. I have people coming at the end of the month.

This is going to be interesting. I guess if worse comes to worse- they get to sleep with a mattress on the floor.

OHH.. did I mention that I also have another headboard/footboard on the way but will have no way to put it up until I get Grandma’s room all put back together. eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It’s frustrating.

Anyway, if any of you feel like sharing a similar story (and by I similar I mean one that was super frustrating in the moment but you can laugh at now), feel free to in the comments 🙂

Issa LorenLeave a comment

The Alexa Chronicles

I have decided, after a day of arguing with this wench, that I would keep a chronicle of the shenanigans I go through with Amazon’s Alexa. I even made a sub category for it. I can’t be the only one who deals with the sass of an AI.

Right?

Anyway, Alexa at the Mill was the first of her kind in my household. Over the years I found no reason to have to deal with it–moving from location to location. Setup, take down, set up again. I’ve mentioned before how with military life, how I wanted to keep as little as possible which would result in valuable losses.

Now, I am here in my own house. No plans for moving permanently in the near future, so I figured a sound system would be nice for the television (where we only had a sound bar. Maybe more on that debacle later). Pair that with Amazon doing pre-order sales for the new Echo… I got a couple.

And, somehow, I got the AI that was hard of hearing, stubborn, and petulant.

Yesterday, I asked for music and got something I didn’t ask for. She seems to really like Seal, Travis Tritt, and some weird techno rock. These are the go-to plays when I request something– And that something is almost never any of those artists.

The one in the master likes to give me the silent treatment– until I complain online and then she straightens out herself and starts listening.

One annoying thing after the other. Literally, at 928 yesterday morning, I was yelling at her to just “SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT IM SAYIN”

Grr.

Freakin technology.

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Water in the Mill

It’s been raining.

A lot.

I went to bed the other night. All happy and content. In my bonnet and eye covers. The sky was rumbling out there in the dark.

Then I look up at the ceiling.

Only to find, with a certain sense of dread and resignation, not a large wet spot, but several spread out all along the edge of my ceiling. So a phone call was made to the insurance company.

First Home Insurance claim. Yay?

Anyway, they got the contractor/inspector out here yesterday to evaluate the situation. It’s not the roof, which is great. Also great is that even being original to the Mill, it is still in amazing condition. The problem now is:

“Where is the water coming from?”

It’s along the exterior wall, The A/C system is along the interior. It only gets wet when its raining.

So, now we are waiting for the call from the leak specialist to come out and figure out what in the world is happening. Until then, due to all the rain the forecast, The Contractor left me a dehumidifier and industrial fan to dry out the floor and the drywall (cause I don’t need a mold problem on top of everything else)

I am very glad I have insurance, AND that I insisted on a home warranty at Closing. So, even though its not exactly convenient, I know that its not going to actually cost me any more than my deductible out of pocket. It is a weight off the mind.

Also leads me to understand why some folks don’t keep up with home maintenance and at the same time not understand why some folks don’t keep up with home maintenance. Good insurance and a maintained warranty may cost a little bit up front, but when it comes down to it: knowing they are there and have you covered allows you to go ahead and find out what the issues are and fix them.

Anyway, since I am talkin about the Mill today, been thinking about what to do terms of landscaping. I am not a huge fan of high-maintenance areas. I also would like to increase the overall value of the house. I am seriously thinking of having some rock gardens put in… the walk way to the front door, around the porch, along the back fence line. It seems it is going to be a bit pricy so I think it may have to be done in phases– starting with the area in front of the main bedroom window. Over there is the air con unit and also the remains of some sort of fountain that, at this moment, does nothing but have an unsightly hole in the ground and breed mosquitoes. I am gonna start looking at inspiration ideas, but off the bat I am thinkin along the lines of Asian inspired. Zen areas are my kind of style. There also seems to be some squishiness happening in some parts of the lawn that are new and I should probably talk to a lawn person to get that corrected.

That is the mid-range term. In the short-term, today I will be buying headboards for the two guest bedrooms. They aren’t what I wanted to get, but due to stocking issues at IKEA and the repairs currently underway, I have to make some adjustments with Overstock. I wish I could hold off but I am having guests at the end of the month, so it would be a good thing to not have them sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Overstock is having a sale so that is a bonus. The original budget allows me to get both rooms for the price of one. So, its a win/win. Lord knows I may just end up liking it better this way.

Sidenote: YO! Why is it so hard to find bedframes with enough clearance on the bottom for storage?!

Also on the short term list (within the week) I will be having the cobblestones stripped, cleaned, sealed and re-sanded to get the area where the trash-bins are back to being tidy. Anyway, the contractor is on his way to check how the drying out process is going so I am going to have to close this out for today.

BTW: I haven’t lost sight of the fitness goals, and I do have some things to share (read: gripe and moan) on that front. Leaving it for a separate post though.

Adios folks!

Issa LorenLeave a comment

A touch of the feels

So. Didn’t make my 11 day streak for posting–so I suppose all one can do is try again. I was going to post this weekend, but had birthday party and other things happening related and it ended up taking up most of the weekend. Still re-building the energy reserves. I mean, don’t feel bad, cause I didn’t even make my bed– and that is one of the two things I generally require of myself to have a successful day. I did feed the dog, so I didn’t completely fail.

I am also going to be real here and say this this weekend was emotionally difficult (hence the title of this post). I think I mentioned before that I don’t have children. Not for lack of trying. All three of my babies have only ever opened their eyes in heaven. This is a state of being that I didn’t want or plan for but it is where I am in life. Folks, not knowing my history, assume that I don’t have children because I don’t want them. With good intentions they say things like, “You’re so good with children!”, “You would make a wonderful mother!”, “Children are blessings from the Lord.” Well yeah, of course they are. Something that is difficult for many people to accept in the Christian life is that — not all of the Lord’s blessings are meant for all of the Lord’s children. Faith-wise– it is a battle between what we want and what the Lord has. Good things become idols when we place them above the Lord. We see it in Abraham’s life as well. I’ve seen a few professing Christians turn from the faith because they could not have children.

Anyway, around these parts is back to school time. I see people around me getting their children ready — everyone from kindergarten through to dropping their kids off at college for the first time. I can’t help but think of where my babies would have been at this point if they had made it. It makes my heart hurt because it just naturally moves beyond the present into the future. The big birthdays, the big events, the every day frustrations where they just want mom. Exhausting times, indeed, but worth it in the long run I think. I assume.

It isn’t a mindset I dwell in, but it does come and go with the flow of life. I don’t dwell, but it does take a few days to get through. That’s the important part that I try really to be cognizant of: don’t push it away and let it fester. Deal with it now so the next time it isn’t an overwhelming wave of pent up frustration. I think the roughness this past weekend is also because of the transition I’m in already with re-establishing roots. Every year before now, I’ve always been at a distance. The kids (Nieces, nephews, bestie kids, friends kids, church kids) were always far away and I was only tangentially involved with their lives because there was no other choice. Now, it’s a mixed bag. My siblings (and therefore, my nieces and nephews) are still long distance; however, everyone else is part of my every day living. It is so much fun, and yet it is low-key painful as well. I am super excited to see and help them learn new things and figure stuff out. To be a person some of them can talk to, but also just share random silly things with— even if they earn me eye-rolls and giggles. This past weekend, I got hugs just because. Those are the moments that lessen that pain, and the moments–I suppose– that will now act as the balm to soothe in the long term.

There is no real great way to end this posting. So .. til the next time.

Issa LorenLeave a comment

Hole-y Stagnant

Guys.

I am getting my ears pierced again today, and I am pretty excited about it. I should maybe clarify that I have them pierced already, but I will be putting in either two or four more (I haven’t decided if I want three per ear–

OK wait– here is a tangent–: My thinking on this is that I could just get the three per ear today and then deal with the healing time once. That way later I can choose how many I want in each ear. The other option is just get the one set and if I want to get another set later I can go through the healing process all over again. I’ll ask the guy today. I really don’t think I’ll make a firm decision until the moment of— end tangent)

I have always wanted three per ear. I think its because as a kid, my older (and hence, obviously, cooler) cousin had three and I loved it. Today, she had considerably more (I believe her entire left ear has huggie hoops all the way ’round. I don’t want to go that far. I am hyper sensitive, so no costume jewelry for me.

Why am I doing this now?
Well, that kinda has to do with the “stagnant” part.
See, it is the middle of military PCS season. No one likes moving, but when its a regular part of life the sudden lack of it is a bit shocking. I was born into the military life and so far as long as I can remember, we’ve moved every few years. In the years of high school, after my dad got out of the Air Force, we started in a rental and then moved into a house they bought. It was three years until I graduated and moved myself across the state for school. Then a year later I moved back into my own place. And a couple years after that, my new boyfriend (we were friends for years before we started dating–but this was things were still new on the romance front) decided he was going to join the Army and I’ve been moving ever since.

Now he’s retired, but doing contract work so he still gets to go around to different places. Now I have The Bee Mill, my first house that isn’t rented. I’m still unpacking and moving in at the moment, but I didn’t realize that previously my mind set unconsciously was, “Move in with an eye for moving out in a few years.” I’m bout to be stagnant. This is all new territory for me. I’m having some other issues with the transition that I may get into here later.

Anyway, part of the whole thing before was I tried to keep small pieces to a minimum. Easily lost or broken during packouts was an auto no-go for me. This included jewelry of any sort. If I can’t wear it on the daily, then I don’t wear it. Part of it is my hyper-sensitivity, and the other part is that they are small and expensive. No willing to really lose them. So.

That is why I’m getting my ears pierced again. It’s what I’ve wanted to do for awhile but haven’t. To get over this mental trip I’m on (hopefully) this is what I am doing with the mindset “You didn’t let yourself before, but now you can! This is a good thing”

Also, been researching something else to plan for in the future (not sure if the near or far yet, but planning on it)– I’ll also get into that later.

That’s all for day 10 of posting. Tomorrow will be day 11– I hope.

Enjoy the day folks!

Issa LorenLeave a comment

Unda Press-shha

I hope you have the song in your head LOL.

It took me a quick minute this morning to get myself on here. I am practically done with the cup of coffee for the morning.

What finally got me here?

Welllll.

I have to clean The Mill and do the laundry. Since I believe I mentioned that I am a huge procrastinator, it should be no surprise that I am avoiding do it. It also is partially because I am trying to build a habit with the regular posting. Actually, I am really very tired today. Even though I was mentally ready for sleeping last night—I didn’t actually fade off until after 1 or so in the morning. Animals and plant life who occupy the Mill with me, also don’t care that I’m not feeling good so if I would so kindly feed and provide the facilities. Everything in my neck and shoulders and hips were adamantly against sleep- even after the meds were taken.

This flare really want to get going and I really don’t want it to. So this is the silent Battle at the Bee.

Yesterday, had to ship back faulty front door lock so I’d not be charged for the replacement and decided to stop by the mall because a young lady in my life is having her first double digit birthday, so I wanted to get her a gift different than the toys and whatnot she would usually get. I remember, when I was young (I never needed any ooone….ok I digress) I looked forward to the double digits. I have no idea why. In my little mind, I believed it to be some sort of threshold. That until I passed it I wasn’t truly growing up.

Ahh. To be young and foolish. Adulthood is super over-rated. I also have thoughts on this that I may or may not expand on in the future.

Dang, I should start writing a list.

Back to the mall. I haven’t actually been to a mall in quite some time. Not because of any particular issue, but because I don’t really feel the need to most times. I rarely (though that seems to be changing lately–ahem–body weight–cough cough) buy clothes or other things. I did a bit of window shopping first. Get the lay of the land. See what she might like. Wanting to balance her still being young with the sense that she is moving into a new phase of life.

My default answer: Books.

So that’s where I went. And the bookstore was having a sale too! I spent a number of hours perusing the kids section and was not overly satisfied with what I saw. What has happened to children’s literature?! I know the answer to this question from a previous life within the publishing world some time ago, but I am still astonished at the majority of what is deemed good reading for the age group. Looks like I’ll be sticking with the used bookstores for purchasing tomes.

So I stuck with the classics. Grabbed her the first two books of the Narnia series. She likes animals and adventure. It will ease her into the genre of the fantastical– and move her into more challenging books. Her parents got her a kindle for her birthday–but there’s something about holding a book and flipping the pages. The entire process that just doesn’t happen with an e-reader. Believe me, I have had a kindle since it came on the market (I’ve also been an Amazon member since they only sold books LOL), but I still buy my real books.

Speaking of which, I did not leave without a few for myself. I got a huge book of biblical maps. It is actually really informative, which I found out as I was flipping through it last night. An insight into one of my book buying habit is:

If it is a thick book, and there are maps, I’ll probably buy it. Genre? Doesn’t matter. Author? Doesn’t really matter either. Lol.

A huge disappointment was the philosophy section. Literally it was the last little portion on a row of non-related books. In this small section, I saw a book that caught my eye called Good Thinking. I figured, “hey, we can all use critical thinking in our lives”.

A book like this should be objective. However, the author poisons the well on the second page (the first full page of text), in the added in preface. I don’t know if he thought “No one is going to read this anyway so I’ll just shoot myself in the foot to push my own agenda”

Gads.

It has irritated me. So the book is on the shelf until I can mentally shift gears and categorize it as biased work. It won’t be too long, and it won’t stop me from reading it. I just hate that it presents itself as objective when it isn’t.

Anyway, I should probably go and, you know, actually do something.

Oh so before I go:
Anyone know if I can add a bookshelf widget of some sort to this place?

Issa LorenLeave a comment

A little… Pizzazz… (or Not)

I just realized that pizza is right there in front of the word. I am laughin and also wondering why I am hungry so early in the morning!

And now, I’ve distracted myself and can’t remember what I was goin to go on about.

Such is life. It’ll come back to me at some point.

So another note: My face is being weird all of a sudden. Yesterday, I was replacing the front door deadbolt here at the Mill after replacing the flag bracket in the front when stuff started catching on my eye lashes. I had grease on my hands, So I kind just tried to brush it off with my wrist.

You guys.

When I got back and looked in the mirror, there was a huge patch of peeling skin…right there in the middle of my forehead! I am fairly consistent with my skincare, but have been a bit lacking in motivation for the last few days so I’ve just kinda thrown some water on my face and some leftover lotion from my hands and called it a day (you know, like most dudes would LOL). To be honest, I did too much the week previous and didn’t plan for my days away appropriately, hence, I am at the beginnings of a fibro flare and trying to stave off a spiral.

Even though I’m not feeling so hot, I did look back mentally at how these flares used to go. I say go because it was almost never-ending. My body was so out of control that I was constantly at about an 8 on the pain level scale. I was always in the spiral so it wasn’t even a thought on “Oh, I need to step back before this starts to turn”. I remember it being so bad… that I was deep in the fibro flare and right behind that the CFS was following. I was in so much pain that the least painful position was standing because only my feet touched the floor. My clothes hurt, my underwear hurt. The air moving across my skin– hurt. I was also so tired— the fatigue was so bad that it was not unusual for me to sleep 20/24 hours in a day. Now, something like a decade later, I have coping mechanisms that work. Enough medication to take the edge off on the daily. Exercise and nutrition in general are important to maintain as well (which I am getting to). In my immediate fatigue I let even the most simple of my coping mechanisms go so I really need to get back on the program

As for pizzazz, I think I was going to try to add some visual interest to the general layout here–but I don’t know what I want to do (yeah, I know. I say it a LOT). I don’t want gauche or gaudy, cause that would annoy me. This, just as an insight, is where my indecision stems from perfectionism.

OHH, you know what. I’ll try and work in here the results of the personality test I recently took. Since I am on a “Know thyself” journey— I figured I should probably start with how much I really know my own personality.

And let’s just say, I wasn’t surprised at all.

OHH. OHH. ANNNND…

Been getting things ready for the whole exercise restart and I’ll be posting on the program I decided to go with probably before the end of the week. I am excited and a little bit nervous. Nine months is a long time to not really do physical activity. Trying to ease into things but I just may fall on my face.

Wow, I’ve been typing for a little bit now, and I actually have errands to run today so toodles people who get this far 😀

Issa LorenLeave a comment

Cracked…

Send Help, but wait until I get through a contemplation first LOL

I am almost through my cup of coffee for the morning and I’ve been sitting here trying to pull a thread of what to jot down.

Not for lack of subject matter, but because there is a mountain of it before me.

What to choose?

I was also thinking yesterday (again) about how personal to make these posts? Relationally speaking, I mean. I think and process about the things I see around me and around the world. The issues I have been battling mentally is that of conversational timing. I could write my opinion here, where someone who knows me reads it, and then —

While its a conversation I could have, I probably haven’t yet with the person in question either because

1. We just not that close
2. It hasn’t been the right timing

Then again, I could be over-thinking things, which is not unusual.

Anyway, back to the purpose. My heels have cracked people. For the very first time in my life, they have cracked. I didn’t realize they were so dry as I am fairly consistent with the whole moisturizer thing. Then I was walking around the yard yesterday- tending to various aspects of the outside of The Mill, barefooted as per the norm- and my heels started burning!

They haven’t bled and the cracks don’t seem to be overly deep (though I have no idea how bad that can get– Im scared to look at pictures). Is Vaseline enough (cause that is what I already have)? Is there a particular product out there made specifically for this issue that actually works?

I don’t know that I’ll get any responses, so until I do… Vaseline it is!

Have a good Tuesday, Folks.